In the meantime I have something you may well enjoy. Before we headed out to the show, a few of us hung around my mansion and discussed politics and before you know it we were on the subject of salvia because of this little ditty right here. This reminded me of my experience with this magical gun powder a few years back. Here's what i wrote about it. Enjoy...
"Where to begin. I have heard about Salvia for quite sometime and actually tried it once before on a late night skate mission with a guy known as teenage mustache. After nothing more than headache and a sore throat I made the comment that he may have been ripped off and was glad none of my hard earned cash was wasted on this crap. Keep in mind, this stuff is completely legal. At least back then it was, now its sort of in question.
Fast forward to Saturday, February the 16th, 2008. A few friends and I made the trip to visit a friend in Athens for the weekend. We had no idea we were going to try Salvia or even mentioned it before the trip. So, sometime on Saturday, while Candler was at work and Patrick was baby-sitting us, someone came up with the idea that, "What the hell, we are on vacation". After a lengthy debate (two minutes of deciding on how much each person would throw in) we talked our guide for the day into taking us to a smoke shop somewhere in downtown, Athens. After talking to the guy working the counter for about ten minutes we made our choice on the purple box called "Beyond".
Once we made our way back to the house we were staying at, we started to examine the box and the side effects. Patrick told us stories of people climbing up imaginary words, distorted gravity and time going away. All of this which we called the madness in under or around five minutes. FIVE MINUTES. "No problem", I told myself, "five minutes is nothing". If only I knew. We started to move the coffee table out of the way but were re-assured that we wouldn't be getting up and most likely be stuck to the couch. In fact, Patrick had only heard of one guy actually getting up on his feet. I at least had to dead bolt the front door so no one would go in or out.
Nick and I sat side by side and Nick decided he would go first but I would quickly follow so we would be both doing it at the same time. I do not recommend this at all, one person at a time people. Nick grabbed the small glass pipe we rounded up and put a dash of the black death powder in the bowl, just a pinch. He lit it and pulled in a massive hit and began to hold it in for the thirty-five second duration. I started to load up one for myself and as I was the giggles started next to me which only made me go that much quicker. I quickly took a long drag and as I was holding it in, Nick looks at me with a very confusing expression and said, "Mike, I have to tell you something, seriously, I have to tell you something.........I'm out of my mind" or at least thats what I heard as my ride started. Nick quickly went back into laughter and garbled gibberish and all I was getting was a very intense drunk feeling. I was on my way up but in my state of mind I could not realize this so I loaded another bowl in about ten seconds and did it again.
As I held my breath the true terror started to take over. Keep in mind, I kind've wanted the fear and thought I was ready for it. Monster and ghouls, I could handle that. Shape shifters and psycho killers, piece of cake. No, what happened to me was nothing I could prepare myself for.
Nothing changed, I could see clearly as ever and my thoughts were all in order but the fucking gravity was everywhere. I was being tugged in all directions until one prominent destination was found. The "other world" was sucking me in and it was in the couch. I had to get away but couldn't. Every ounce of my energy was being used to pull away from the hooks and claws holding me in place and they were all inside my jacket and hat. Anywhere they were touching me, I was attached. "I have to get away I thought, this isn't right." I tore myself off the couch and on to my feet where I quickly remembered what happened, I had smoked something, but what? Who knows, I wanted to, but I could not remember, all I knew is it came from that damn, purple box. I started saying "GET THAT FUCKING PURPLE SHIT AWAY FROM ME, GET IT OUT OF HERE, FUCK THAT PURPLE SHIT, GET IT THE FUCK OUT" and so on. At this point the non-trippers wanted me to calm down and were on their feet. This only made things more difficult for me as I had extreme paranoia that everyone was in on this. They all knew that I had figured them out and they wanted me to sit down. I could not let this happen. This other world that had existed for forever began to take shape. I could not see it, but I could definitely feel it and it wanted to suck me in. It was at this point that my fists came up and I was ready to defend myself from these fakes that were calling me their friend. All of the sudden I had vast knowledge about this world and its history. These people began to try to hold me down, in my state of mind anyway. Or were they actually holding me down? Was this a memory where I discovered their giant cover up before and they subdued me and drugged me to make me forget and fall back into their fake world filled with fake people and the ones who were in the know? I had no idea but something told me I found out and they had to stop me from getting away. At this point things started getting real intense. The other world caught up to me again was ready for round two. The only way I could describe the feeling of the intensity is that if you have seen the new movie "Jumper", right before he jumps in the beginning everything gets shaky and blurry and I had a feeling of being pulled in all directions almost to the point of being torn apart. I had to escape.
I fell on all fours and began to crawl into the kitchen. After I reached the cabinets I backed into them so as to face the room I came from. It was gone but only for the time being. I got back up, or so I thought, and made my way to the front door. Everyone tried to talk me into not going out and probably thought I would throw fists at them if they got close enough. Besides that, I had to seem way to fucked up to figure out how to get outside. I grabbed the door handle and turned it in all directions and it would not open. The other world was catching up so I put the other hand on the dead bolt and started to turn it and stopped. It was either get sucked in or go out into the great unknown where I might stand a chance.
I could not help but feel that the ocean was on the other side of this door and if I opened it, it might be the end of me. I took a glance back and saw all my friends looking at me wide eyed almost like I had exceeded their expectations. I felt like the only escape was out of this door that could be my doom. I opened the door and ran out the drive way and sat down on the ground behind Candler's car. The cool night air felt so amazing. I felt like I was practically on fire and someone had dumped me into pool. Everything then got really bright and it was over. It was nothing more than a car coming down the street with the headlights one. What the fuck had I done. I looked up and Candler was standing there smiling. I jumped up and walked back in still a little like I had the swirls.
Once I sat down and everyone started telling me of my actions I couldn't help but think that this was true insanity. Inside that little bag held madness beyond my wildest dreams. Would I do it again? Probably not. Its not for the light hearted. The journey I took felt like hours with and eternity of back story. The fear I felt was unlike anything any movie or book could ever make me feel because it was so real. So, if you and your buddies want to do something to spice up your weekend, this stuff can legally be purchased at most likely the nearest low brow gas station. Don't say I didn't warn you though."
Well, that's it for today cave dwellers. This is your Reptilian Overlord signing off.
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